Lovehoney Lick Me Pussy Pump Review
Meet “The Puddle Maker”

Published: August 22, 2025

Tags: Sex Toys Female Toys Clit Toys G-Spot Toys Vibrators Lovehoney

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Why this multifunction toy initially scared me, then intrigued me, then finally earned a nickname and a permanent spot in my toy box.

This thing looks kinda scary, I know. ✋ I know… But just hear me out, okay? Around here, only the most amazing toys earn a nickname, and this one has officially been christened The Puddle Maker. 💦

Why? Because the Lovehoney Lick Me Vibrating Pussy Pump and Tongue Vibrator isn’t just one toy—it’s a whole toolbox of pleasure. You’ve got suction, vibration, a flickering tongue, and even a hidden g-spot vibe all wrapped up in smooth, body-safe silicone. It’s versatile, beginner-friendly, and honestly a little mischievous in how many ways it can completely ruin you (in the best way). And all of this comes at a price point that’s refreshingly reasonable for how much it delivers.

So yes, it might look like a medieval contraption at first glance, but stick with me—I promise this “scary” little device has the potential to become your new favorite toy.

A tongue, a pump, and a g-spot vibe walk into a bedroom… here’s what happened.

First Look: Okay, It Looks Scary, But Trust Me…

This thing looks like a medieval torture device meets modern toy luxury. I don’t really have anything to compare it to, maybe like a Kiiroo Pearl with a weird attachment?

In hand, it’s a reasonable weight. The Lick Me feels like a quality toy without being heavy and is really balanced in hand, when you hold the middle of the toy. It doesn’t feel top heavy or bottom heavy which is much more comfortable for your wrist when using it. With the exception of the interchangeable cups, the entire toy is coated in a high quality feeling, smooth, and body-safe silicone. The two cups the toy comes with easily attach and detach for quick switches. They are clear with a matching purple silicone edge. OH! And the silicone edge can slip right off for cleaning and easily slides back on. The whole cup is light without feeling cheap and is surprisingly comfortable.

It has a magnetic charging port so it’s pretty water resistant, but with a pump it’s not submersible. The box is of decent quality with a lot of information on it. It came with a charger and a manual (that I couldn’t find any English on, but didn’t need.) It did ship inside a bag so it was covered and discrete and the box had instructions on how the buttons work on it. It also says the toy has a travel lock?!? COOL!! So this means that you press and hold the top and bottom button simultaneously for 4 seconds and it locks the toy in the off position. No random button punching that happens in your bag will turn it on until you press the combination again. Congrats 🎉 TSA isn’t going to have to deal with your buzzing suitcase and your modesty is hopefully intact.

Hands On Experience

Holy Hell! I was not prepared!! 😱

The buttons on this toy are simple and honestly pretty perfect. There is a power button, a button for the tongue, a button for the pump, and a button for the g spot vibe each separately. I was able to try each feature separately because of this and in various combinations.

Tongue Time: Flick, Flick, Boom 💥

The tongue vibe is just perfect. The button has multiple patterns clearly designed by someone who actually understands how sensitive that spot can be.

⭐ Gold Star.

I do wish I could increase the power, but it’s still a good level and gives a delicious slow build. If you don’t turn the vacuum pump on, the cup that attaches to it is still a REALLY great tool! It steadies this vibe and makes the “adjust to find clit” dance I sometimes have to do a thing of the past. (This also makes it good for a partner to hold while distracted, say because you’re furiously making out… mmmm) Once I found the right spot it was easy to settle in and let the silicone cushioned cup keep the spot for me.

Pump It Up: Beginner-Friendly Suction Play

The vacuum pump button is simple, on or off. The suction is on for a little over a second, then pauses for the same amount of time and repeats. It’s a very slow, calm build up. I don’t actually have a lot of experience with pumps, but this has encouraged me to try more for you lovely readers.

I had zero idea what to expect and figured it was more of a “trusting the process” situation where the end goal of raising sensitivity was what made it worth it. I had not even considered that using the pump itself could be so pleasurable! I have been schooled 🤣 and I’m happy about it. The pump by itself was an odd feeling, not painful, just a strange new sensation. This is definitely a beginner friendly pump because I definitely was and I actually kind of enjoyed it.

If the idea of a pussy pump is a bit intimidating, you are in luck! This toy’s cup comes off and there is another included in the box and it’s shaped for drum roll NIPPLES! Which is probably a little less scary for those hesitating on the idea. You can test it out on your nipples with that lovely tongue vibe for EXTRA mind melting goodness.

Magic Handle: Surprise! It’s a G-Spot Vibe

The g-spot vibe is what looks like the handle, flip this thing around and the handle is actually a vibe for your g-spot! ✨magic✨

It’s designed really well with smooth silicone and the correct type of curve and about 5.5 inches in length. This vibe is a really good size actually. It’s not too big to use, it compares easily to the size of the others I’ve reviewed. It’s also not too small, which I find is kind of common, the bigger size offers more g-spot coverage and the ability for those deep rumbly vibes which this vibe really does deliver. Exactly the type of vibe you want on the g-spot in my opinion.

The button that controls this vibe works well, 3 speeds followed by delicious patterns that are pretty perfect for the g-spot. In my experimentation I discovered another use for this vibe too…

The Combo Move: When You Use Everything at Once

The pump combined with the tongue vibrator was so soooooo good😳.

It turned the pump which was new and different for me but not necessarily orgasm inducing into an erotic orgasm inducing experience. This alone makes this a VERY beginner friendly toy to try. The quality is good, but the tongue vibe in it adds pleasure for sure! That can really erase any anxiety or nerves about the new experience. Yes, yes, I do believe it helps that the pump actually raises your sensitivity to the tongue you are being assaulted by (in the best way of course).

BUT that’s not the point!! cough cough

On a whim I tried the g spot vibe while using both of the others, and while that vibe is on the other end of the toy, it made the WHOLE cup vibrate and that was 🫠 well:

Here lies StrawberryAngel, she died in a pleasure puddle she created with a toy she underestimated...
I am Deceased. 🪦 🤣

Seriously… I don’t have words! I always have words?!? If you buy this toy, TRY IT, someone help me with words because I have none. 🤯

This toy lasted longer than me… 🫣 a few times. The box says it has about 80 minutes of play and I’ll assume they aren’t lying (I won’t survive testing that.) A quick magnetic charge for about 2 hours and you’re back in the splash zone 😜.

StrawberryAngel is not liable for any soaked bedding or toy addiction you develop from this product! 🤣

New to pumps? Here’s some tips

• It will likely feel strange but it should not hurt. If it hurts, STOP.
• As always, use lube for the toy and any play afterwards, the suction can make you a little dry.
• Always turn suction off before removing the cup
• A good time frame is don’t use the pump for more than 15 minutes continuously

For a full lesson on pumps you can actually check out this video from Lovehoney.

🏁 Final Verdict: 9.0/10 on the Angel Scale

The Lovehoney Lick Me Vibrating Pussy Pump and Tongue Vibrator completely blew, or sucked, past my expectations.

What I thought might be a quirky novelty toy turned into a full-blown puddle-maker with multiple ways to play, layer sensations, and straight-up ruin your sheets in the best way possible. From the tongue that actually knows what it’s doing and just doesn’t quit, to the pump that’s both beginner-friendly and surprisingly erotic, to the g-spot vibe that ties everything together—this toy is versatile, powerful, and honestly a little dangerous (in the “you’ll lose track of time and forget your name” kind of way).

If you’ve ever been curious about pumps, oral simulation toys, or just want a multi-tasking powerhouse that will leave you breathless, this is one to add to your collection. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself later.

👉 Ready to see what all the hype is about? Check out the Lovehoney Lick Me Vibrating Pussy Pump and Tongue Vibrator and prepare your towels. Or, if you’re still exploring your options, dive into more of my sex toy reviews on The Strawberry Patch. I’ll help you find the perfect match for your next splash session.

Until then, Don’t forget the towels!

Strawberry Angel 🍓😇

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