BDSM Glossary

Published: February 2, 2024 (Updated: December 15, 2025)

Tags: BDSM

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Welcome to our glossary of BDSM terms, a comprehensive lexicon designed to demystify the fascinating world of BDSM. From role-playing terminologies to jargon depicting unique BDSM practices - we’ve covered it all.

Our intent is to provide a respectful, non-judgmental, and safe space where you can increase your understanding of the comprehensive descriptions, meanings, and applications of terms commonly used in the BDSM community. This glossary serves as a vital navigational tool for anyone starting their journey into BDSM or for the seasoned participant looking to polish their knowledge.

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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

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A

ABDL - Adult Baby/Diaper Lover

Adult babies enjoy role-playing as an infant, a form of ageplay. Diaper lovers enjoy wearing and often using diapers.

Aftercare

The time after a scene where the participants calm down together, often involving discussing the scene and their emotions.

Anal Sex

Penetrative sex involving the anus. Read our guide to getting started with anal sex.

B

BDSM

Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. Explore more in our guide to getting started in BDSM.

Bondage

Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner. Learn more from our introduction to bondage.

Bottom

The receiving partner in a scene, not always the submissive.

C

CBT - Cock and Ball Torture

Torture of the penis and testicles for sexual gratification.

Chastity

Physical or mentally restricting access to the genitals for the purpose of orgasm control.

CNC - Consensual Non-Consent

An agreement where parties act as if consent has been waived.

Collared

A submissive who is owned, usually involving a formal collar. Differentiated from a “stray”.

Consent

Mutual agreement to the current situation.

D

Denial

The act of denying your own or your partner’s orgasm. Learn more from our introduction to orgasm control.

D/s - Dominance/Submission

Play or relationships involving power exchange.

DDLG - Daddy Dom/Little Girl

A D/s lifestyle where the Dom takes on the role of a caregiving parent and the sub of a dependent child.

Dom/Dominant

The partner that has control or power over the submissive. Find out what it truly means to be dominant.

Domme

A female Dom.

Domspace

A euphoric state of mind a Dom may enter during a scene.

Dungeon

A room or area outfitted with BDSM equipment.

E

Edgeplay

S/M play that involves a chance of physical or emotional harm.

Edging

Repeatedly reaching the edge of orgasm without going over. Learn more from our introduction to orgasm control.

F

Figging

Intentionally inserting a peeled ginger root into the body to cause intense sensations.

Findom - Financial Domination

D/s play involving money. Submissive partner is often called a money slave, finsub, paypig, human ATM, etc.

Fisting

Inserting the entire hand into the body.

G

Golden Shower

Urinating on someone.

Gor/Gorean

A subgenre relating to the world of Gor, erotic novels by John Norman.

H

Hard limits

What someone absolutely will not do; non-negotiable.

Hogtie

A form of bondage where the wrist and ankles are tied together behind the back.

I

Impact Play

A form of sensation play where the sub derives pleasure from impacts from whips, crops, floggers, etc. Learn more from our introduction to impact play.

J

K

Kajjira

A slave girl, from Gorean mythology.

Kinbaku

A Japanese style of rope bondage

L

Limits

What someone wil not participate in (hard limits) or is hesitant to do (soft limits).

M

Masochist

A person who enjoys pain.

M/s - Master/slave

A consensual relationship where the Dominant partner receives control over the submissive.

Munch

A meeting of BDSM practitioners, usually in a vanilla setting.

MDLB - Mommy Domme/Little Boy

The female lead version of DDLG.

N

O

Orgasm Control

A collection of practices revolving around controlling your own or your partners orgasm. Learn more from our introduction to orgasm control. Also see denial, edging, and chastity.

P

Pegging

A sexual practice where a woman performs anal sex on a man.

Play Party

An event involving many people engaging in scenes.

Q

R

RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink

A framework for understanding the risks involved in a scene before consenting.

S

Sadist

A person who enjoys inflicting pain.

Safeword

A codeword a bottom can use to force the top to stop or reduce the intensity of the activity.

Sensory Play / Sensation Play

Playing with restricted or enhanced senses in order to cause pleasure or pain. Learn more from our introduction to sensory play.

Slave

A submissive who gives up total control of the situation.

SSC - Safe, Sane, and Consensual

A framework that ensure a scene is safe before consenting.

Soft Limits

What someone is reluctant to do.

Stray

A submissive who is not currently owned. Differentiated from “collared”.

Sub/Submissive

The person giving up power in a D/s relationship. Find out what it truly means to be submissive.

Subdrop

A physical/emotional condition experienced by a submissive after an intense experience.

Subspace

A euphoric state sometimes entered by submissives during a scene.

Switch

Someone who likes being both Dominant and submissive.

T

Top

The person doing the action in a scene, not necessarily the Dominant partner.

TPE - Total Power Exchange

A relationship where the Dominant has complete control over the submissive’s life.

U

V

Vanilla

Non-BDSM related things or people.

W

Watersports

Slang for play involving urination.

WIITWD - What It Is That We Do

A broad term encompassing all forms of alternative sexuality.

X

Y

Z