Warm sex is the new hot! And let me tell you WHY
How slowness, softness, and connection are turning up the real heat in bed

Published: July 25, 2025

Tags: Emotional Health Orgasm Relationships Sexual Education Sexual Wellness

---

We may make money when readers purchase items through our links. Disclosure

---

You’ve tried hot. Now it’s time to try something that melts, lingers, and wraps around your whole body.

I’m gonna be honest with you my dear angels… I struggled a lot with this topic while trying to write this article.

I originally didn’t understand why the term “warm sex” had been coined. I spent a lot of time researching what that was supposed to mean. After I understood what it was, I was even more confused and a little upset that it wasn’t considered “hot sex” for some reason? I really thought it was and that calling it “warm sex” made it sound like it was less hot and degraded its value.

So naturally… I did even more research. 😅

The confusion for me happened in a number of articles where “warm sex” was compared to “hot sex” as two separate meanings. Generally, in the context of conversation “hot sex” is used to mean I had really awesome sex or sex that I really really enjoyed.

In other words, we usually use the term “hot sex” to mean sex that was amazingly pleasurable to me. That can obviously be a very subjective term depending on what you find pleasurable. I’m going to attempt to tell you about what “warm sex” is and not use the term “hot sex” as a comparison… especially since I find their definition of “warm sex” lands squarely in what I consider to be very very hot. 🥵

It’s entirely possible some of you will think it would be hot too and I really hope if you haven’t tried some “warm sex” that you do soon and hopefully I can help with that!

So stop teasing us Angel, what is Warm Sex?

The Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers healing system introduced the term “warm sex” to talk about slower, more intimate, more emotionally connecting sex. Putting emphasis on taking your time and not rushing to the finish line. Which is a thought process we here at the Strawberry Patch have discussed briefly before but fully support!

While there is definitely… a lot to be said for rough, intense, lust filled sex — warm sex offers a whole different mood. Slowing down, taking in the little things and enjoying the intimacy is a lot like remembering to take in the scenery on a road trip. Sometimes we get so excited about the destination, we forget how much fun we can have on the way.

That’s interesting, but what does that look like?

Well, it’s less about the position or the technique and more about the vibe. Think cozy, not clinical. Intimate, not intense. Warm sex is the kind of experience where your body and your heart are on the same team — where you don’t feel like you’re performing, rushing, or checking a box.

Warm sex is a bit of a misnomer since it doesn’t actually have to involve sex itself. Showering together, massages, or even just cuddling are all great ways to enjoy some warm sex without the actual sex.

It often starts slow. Like, really slow.

Maybe it’s undressing each other without any pressure to get straight to the main event. Maybe it’s lazy morning cuddles or climbing into their lap that somehow melt into something more. There’s usually lots of touching — not groping, but hands resting, stroking, and holding. Time feels soft. Breaths sync up. You’re not trying to impress or “rock their world” — you’re just showing up as yourself and letting that be enough.

There’s also a lot of eye contact in warm sex. Not the intense, stare-into-my-soul kind (unless you’re into that), but the kind where you’re checking in with little glances and smirks. You’re with each other, not just doing stuff to each other.

It’s totally okay if you laugh or get distracted or stop halfway through to grab a glass of water. Warm sex is forgiving like that. It makes room for giggles, awkward moments, whispered reassurances, and sweet nothings.

It can be playful. It can be sensual. It can include toys, bondage, or roleplay — warm sex doesn’t mean boring or beige. It just means you’re doing those things with a soft connection at the core. Even a spanking can feel warm if it’s offered with care and received with trust.

And after? Warm sex tends to linger. There’s no abrupt roll-over or pants-hunt. Maybe you snuggle, talk, or lie in a heap of tangled limbs. You’re not rushing back to “real life” — you’re savoring the glow.

To sum it up: The real key to this is to take your time.

Don’t just get in the shower, wash yourselves and get out. Take a bubble bath, soak… and if you’re silly like I am, give your partner a bubble beard shrug It’s okay to laugh.

Oh, you’re hungry? Grab a snack, make a corny joke about being one 😂 I have.

Cuddle up with your partner and have time to be there, don’t rush. Touch them, like A LOT. You don’t need to grab, try stroking, trace patterns on their skin, run your fingers through their hair. 😍

Warm sex doesn’t try to be perfect. It tries to be real. And honestly? To me that’s way hotter.

This is something I’ve been hearing about a lot lately. Why?

This desire for more emotionally connected and intimate encounters honestly should not be surprising at all. On the heels of the pandemic crisis across the world we noticed a serious uptick in people understanding just how much we need other people, human connection, touch, and quality time had been at an all time low. Terms like “touch starved” started popping up more and more and they made perfect sense!

For months on end we kept 6 feet away from people and to be honest I was dying for literally a hug more times than I care to admit to. Make no mistake, I’m not blaming the pandemic for this! There are a lot of other things contributing that were on the rise before the pandemic too. Dating people became as quick and easy as a swipe, one night stands could be found anywhere and everywhere to scratch an itch or have a good time, and we are a very social media society now.

By definition all of these things lack that more intimate connection quality. Having all of those things and still feeling lonely is a very common feeling now. Warm sex offers that deeper connection and intimacy we all crave, and I think more and more people are taking notice of that feeling.

Okay, I want to try it, but how?

You don’t need to burn your sex toys or start quoting tantric poetry to try warm sex. You can start right where you are — in your body, in your relationship, in your messy everyday life. But if the idea of slowing down or opening up feels… vulnerable? You’re not alone.

Let’s walk through it gently.

First, Clear the Blocks

Warm sex thrives on emotional presence — but many of us have learned to check out during sex. Whether it’s performance anxiety, fear of rejection, past trauma, or just years of rushing through foreplay like it’s an obligation, there may be some quiet blocks to melt first.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “I don’t want to seem needy.”
• “I’m not sexy unless I perform a certain way.”
• “I’m scared to ask for more affection.”

…those are all signs you’re needing some warmth — and that you might need a little compassion to get there.

There’s no shame in not being used to this kind of sex. Most of us weren’t taught how to be emotionally naked. Therapy, coaching, or even journaling about your desires can help.

Start small. Even just saying, “I want to feel closer when we’re intimate” is a brave and beautiful place to begin.

Try Solo Warm Sex First

Before you bring someone else into it, warm sex is something you can explore on your own. Yes, solo warm sex is a thing — and it’s deeply underrated.

Instead of reaching for the vibrator or porn out of habit, try slowing down. Put on music that feels cozy or romantic. Light a candle if you’re feeling fancy. Touch yourself the way you wish a lover would — not with urgency, but with curiosity.

Linger.

Explore.

Pause and breathe.

Maybe you just hold your body or stroke your own hair. Maybe you speak sweet words to yourself out loud (yes, it’s awkward at first — and yes, it’s worth it).

This isn’t about orgasm (though that’s welcome). It’s about treating your body like someone you adore.

The more safety and softness you give yourself, the more naturally it will show up in partnered sex.

With a Partner: Start the Conversation

Bringing warm sex into a relationship doesn’t require a formal meeting or a tantric retreat. But it does help to talk about it — even if it’s just a little bit.

Here are a few gentle ways to start:

• “Lately I’ve been craving slower, more connected sex. Would you be open to trying that with me?”
• “I love when we cuddle after — can we build that into our time more intentionally?”
• “I read something about warm sex — want to experiment with it together?” Maybe show them this article. 😉

You don’t have to overhaul everything. Try one or two small shifts:

• Make out for 10 minutes without a goal.
• Take turns undressing each other slowly.
• Touch each other without heading straight for the usual spots.
• Keep the lights low and your attention high.
• Practice asking mid-sex, “Do you like this?” or “What would feel good right now?”

Warm sex isn’t about doing more, it’s about feeling more. And when both partners lean in with curiosity and care, it often ends up being more fulfilling (and honestly, hotter) than the old scripts ever were.

How warm sex could actually help you

I know, I know, I’ve been saying things like “emotional connection” and “intimacy” a lot without talking about what that is or what it actually feels like.

For me it’s like… Coming home. It’s a feeling that is hard to put into words that truly explain what that feels like. The person I’m with really knows me (and wants to) and enjoys my presence. It feels like I’m safe there, comfortable, and like we both could do this for hours and enjoy it.

It’s freeing and relaxing in a way that just can’t be replicated, and I’ve tried. During and after I’ve had some of the deepest conversations I’ve ever had and some of the more intense orgasms too. 😉 Both myself and Wolf have found new sexual things we really enjoyed, laughed way harder than seems natural for the occasion, and accidentally created many inside jokes (some of which really need to die 😑 glares at Wolf).

These things create a unique feeling and sense that these things are just for us. We explore ourselves and each other in this space we create in a way that is really hard to do outside of it. We can talk about things that are otherwise much more difficult. Sensations we like and don’t like, intimate topics we are curious about as a whole, and each other’s feelings on different things are all topics that flow much more freely without embarrassment or fear.

I can positively say that warm sex makes our communication outstanding, it’s so great that it spills over. We keep some of that connection for days or even weeks after. In more technical terms, we raise our baseline. We are happier and more in sync emotionally because of it.

On a more physical level, warm sex doesn’t always have to end in penetrative sex, or sex of any kind, you can crave and receive this level of connection with your partner without it. BUT if it does there are a few things I should warn you about. 😏

When someone takes their time… being close to you, stroking, petting and exploring your body and your reactions, talking about things with you and listening to you (truly listening to what you are saying)… it can be INTENSE. A good metaphor for this would be holding a small flame to the corner of a phone book, the flames take quite a while to gain any traction because it’s a small flame and a big book, the pages slowly start to smolder and burn. But then when it truly catches and the heat has built… It BURNS. It burns long, slow, and hot.

And that’s what I would compare that type of orgasm to.

Warm Is the New Wild, and we are all the better for it

The concept behind warm sex is not a new one, it just has a shiny new name. The desire to feel close to another human is horribly under discussed and underrated. You and everyone else out there aren’t alone, and to top it off, we NEED it.

It’s healthy and fulfilling and nothing to be ashamed of. If you haven’t tried it with yourself or your partner please please do take a little time and indulge yourself.

I’ve hopefully included enough of my own experiences to highlight just how amazing it can be. The tips, tricks, and ideas here are not the limit, explore to your heart’s desire. The door here at The Strawberry Patch is always unlocked, feel free to tell us how it goes! Or ask questions if you need a little help, it’s what I’m here for and I LOVE it! ♥️

We’ll be doing more articles and blogs on experiences here on The Strawberry Patch so be sure to check back soon, until then

Don’t forget to enjoy the scenery 😉

Strawberry Angel 🍓😇